It has come to my attention that a handful of people have separated themselves from the majority of society. Their common thread—a Nicotine seduction, intensely craved and steadfastly denied. However, there is a disagreement that bars them from wholly integrating with the rest of the culture. What are we, as a decent society, to do with this group, which shall be referred to henceforth as “the smokers?” Well, dear friends, with my concern for your and their well-being, and with your leave, I offer to you this suggestion.
The first step in solving any problem is appropriately defining both sides of the issue. This comes down to a simple task—to identify the individual smokers. I say identify the smokers rather than the rest of society, as they are a much smaller quantity,
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